At the start of our session, our counsellor reflected on our previous session, and was particularly drawn to comment on the song that I thought of when asked to recall a book or movie that had meaning - I then proceeded to lose her by justifying and rationalising why I chose the song I did or rather why I didn't choose a movie or book.
We also discussed some conflict that we had this morning - conflict that our counsellor thought sounded like Nina was showing contempt towards me. As we proceeded through the session, we were asked to rate various statements about how we handle conflict, etc. Our counsellor also discussed the two reasons why people stay together - out of a willingness and desire to be together and out of some sort of obligation (I have forgotten exactly the "stay together" term and the terminology that she used for the two reasons - but this was the gist of it). I, of course, noted that these reasons may also be related.
Towards the end of our session this week, our counsellor wrote down a list of values and individually asked each of us to put them in some sort of priority order.
It seemed that after this, and because of the differences that existed between Nina & myself in the answers, that she determined that we should look at ending our marriage. It seemed like she gave Nina an ultimatum that if she didn't go to the Women managing Anger course, then she would take it to mean that we wanted to end our marriage.
I walked out of there feeling empty and a little numb. Neither of us said anything as we walked to our car. When we got in Nina was crying and said that she didn't want us to separate. I was also teary (but a little more controlled) and said the same ... I suggested that we discuss it - but wait till we got home - I knew that if I kept the conversation going there and then, then I would not be able to drive home through a veil of tears.
When we got home, Nina and I sat and chatted for a while - we started counselling to help us get the tools to strengthen our marriage, not to find a way of ending it. We were both surprised at our counsellor's response, and both affirmed that we wanted to work to improve our relationship.
Nina also indicated that she thought that the workshop would be valuable for her regardless of anything else.
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Relationship Counselling Sydney : Determining what's wrong - The period will be able to recognize the real issue between the associates and allow irreconcilable variations to be resolved. Counsellors and therapists can act as peacekeepers and provide impartial comments and tips. Issues will be resolved correctly. Another learning from this process is to take care of justifications without rage or disappointment.
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