An old list

Found a list recently - it probably dates from around 2007 and has the following items on it:

• Screen door
• Windows
• Paint inside
• New Carpet
• Wooden floor
• Air conditioner
• Window shades
• Paint Eaves
• Paint Railings
• New Mattress
• Stairs to Loft
• Open window in loft
• Air conditioning in loft
• Redo down lights
• New Washing Machine / Drier / Dishwasher / Fridge
• Dog(s)
• Kid(s)
• Holiday(s)
• New Car(s)
• Weekends away

Looking through this list, we've competed a number of key items, with those outstanding being:

• Windows - looked at but decided to just replace blinds for now (was very expensive ... had to also repaint)
• New Carpet - will look at if / when we redo bedrooms & bathrooms
• Paint Eaves - need to get painter in to do this - too high up for me
• Kid(s) - A failure I'll always lament and probably judge my life by
• Holiday(s) - had a few, but tied down by dogs and mortgage (should have more)
• Weekends away - as per holiday(s)

What is impressive is the things that we've completed, and of the remainder, the first half are inconsequential ... but the last three are more "defining".

Emptiness & Intimacy

"Love comes in many forms: a Yale psychologist, Robert Sternberg, has actually proposed that there are as many as seven types. The ideal is 'consummate love ', combining intimacy with commitment; but if you have only one of those two qualities, then things are different. For example, commitment alone is 'empty', whereas intimacy alone amounts to merely 'liking'; but combine the two and you have 'companionate love'. Then again there's the romance that eludes chimps …"
Source: "The quest for meaning in the 21st century" by Susan Greenfield, Chapter 8: Being Human (pp142)

Perhaps a question for reflection is "what is intimacy" - I long for something physical (which I feel like is is almost totally lacking), but also to be able to talk and share - I know that Nina seeks the same in terms of this second type ... but I don't know - I think I feel like it is not safe - for her sanity or me (being heard and understood without causing friction), and that it wouldn't make a difference. This may be where counselling was good (got us speaking), but in the end it was circular - they eventually gave up on us.