Valentine's Day yesterday - no gifts or cards were exchanged, but I left a little note on the kitchen bench for Nina:

I love you
I miss you
I want you

The note was gone when I got home, but no mention or recognition of this note has been made since - not sure if it pleased her or annoyed by it (maybe it has ended up in a diary somewhere).

I had been thinking of saying more, but the more was more likely to upset, and that was not an outcome I wanted.

If I had added the other lines, the note may have been something like these:

I'm sorry that I've proven to be such a demonstrable {& maybe disappointing} failure
I often wish that we could start again (slowly), and in doing so we could learn what each other likes
But I also worry that I wouldn't know how and that I would just continue to prove how much of a loser I am

Of course when I came home on Monday (and Tuesday), Nina was in a very low mood, and I worry that notes such as the above would just make things worse.