After getting to know you on the internet,
It was a joy when we first met
When I worried that I might me moving too slow,
At the end of the pier you kissed me under the moon glow
And when I shared my lack of experience and fear
You took my hand and held me near
Sexual experience had I none
Till the first time we went one-on-one
By the time our first joined bodies did part
You held the keys and the strings of my heart
When I shared my concern that women may see sex as a chore
You assured me nothing could be further from the truth and you'd always want more
One night I asked you to marry me
And you said yes, let it be
As the days approached when we were to be wed,
I felt as if you were withdrawing from me in our bed
But on the night of the day our vows were swore,
That was, I think, the best night for sure
However while I hoped for our honeymoon to be full of intimacy,
You just wanted to be left alone to read by the sea
And as you from intimacy did withdraw more and more,
I could only conclude it is because you found me such a bore
I feel I am a failure as a boy
Because I have obviously failed to bring you joy
An as a human I am a poor excuse for a man,
Because I can't bring you ecstasy - I have no plan
A failure more so because wish as much as I might,
I've proven I don't know how to bring you sexual delight
And although the drought has gone on for a decade now,
I still live in hope that one day it may be broken some how
I don't want you to fuck me because you pity me like an injured dove,
Rather I long for for us to join together in intimacy because we do each other love
Sadly, after I write this I will lay my head down to sleep,
And almost certainly will my heart, soul and mind quietly weep
I feel the failure, the emptiness the futility and the loss
But when it comes to our sex life, you are the boss
Sometimes I worry that sex for you was just a lure
So that control of my heart could you procure
So that by sharing with me your bed
Did you take control of the forces in my head
When I share with you my desires I am left feeling at fault
So I spend my days avoiding any hint of these longings so as not to assault
Yet do I every single day live in hope
That your answer to the unspoken wish will not be nope
Yet still when you have me draw on your back
Do my loins respond to the hope we may hit the sack
I truly wish that I could learn
What I could do to make your appetite burn
That I could find the switch to your desire
That would pull us together with the heat of a raging fire
Often I fantasise about you straddling my hips
With my cock being expertly dealt with between your pussy lips
Yet even in my dreams now it's so sad
That no intimacy is ever to be had
As the hope of even a dream tryst comes to the fore
It seems that you now always shut that door
I'm not demanding to have my way,
But really wish there could be some mutual play
I'd never expect or demand a shag every night,
As our abstinence for the last ten years for evidence could I cite
And I suspect that if we finally set out to again let some passion burn,
We'd have to start from scratch so we could finally the secrets of gifting pleasure learn
I still fear that by revealing these secrets I have kept hid with stealth,
That I may cause you anguish that's detrimental to your mental health
I should maybe keep silent and let things be
But that doesn't change the fact that I continue to desire more sexual intimacy
And it's true I must admit and confess
That it's absence has led me to share with you less
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They say that good things come to those who wait,
But I lament for my life that it may be far too late
When recently a funeral I did attend
I lamented that my life would not measure in the end
Day by day more of a failure do I feel,
That when I die I fear my epitaph those words will seal
And as on these thoughts my mind does dwell,
More and more do I feel like I'm in a living hell
When recently I returned from the U.K.
I wanted to hold you so near but knew what you'd say
I lamented that if I tried to have a pash,
You'd respond as if my throat you wanted to slash,
And if I suggested that we should fuck
I knew that you'd respond that I be out of luck
Sometimes I wonder if it's pregnancy you fear
And if that's the reason you don't hold me near
And that when menopause has past
You may pull me in close at last
And if again we have a chance I'll shiver
With the thought that I'll fail to deliver
I want to dispel any notion as false
That I want to treat you like a sex doll with a pulse
And while these lines tell just one aspect for me
That my life as a failure I truly do see
In bed at night I find it so sad
That instead of me you prefer a book or your iPad
And when a kiss it is I seek
You turn from me and offer your cheek
Sometimes I wonder if it's me you really can't stand
Especially as the times seem so rare that you even hold my hand
It seems sad to me that we can not enjoy
The fact that you're a girl and I'm a boy
Sometimes I fear that you used sex as a Tool
And sucked me in like an ignorant innocent fool
If we could rekindle our intimacy it would be great
But I fear that I may prove I'm not able to reciprocate
Intimacy for me is a way I measure
How much a couple does each other treasure
With the exception of a sympathy fuck
It's been ten years now since there's been any luck
You once told me kissing turned you on
And now I feel a failure that those days are gone
