Thinking about "Passion"

I still don't have a clear answer to my homework from my last individual counselling session. As a recap, I was asked to observe other people who seemed to be passionate and work out what that meant.

Some quick initial observations are that the people I perceive to be passionate are ones who seem to have a sense of self-importance, narcissism, or arrogance about them - that they may put themselves and their needs above the needs of others ... but I am not sure that that is really it - I think this definition may be doing an injustice to those who seem to be passionate about things.

With further thinking, I have started to wonder if anyone really has passion, or if most people are just faking it and moving through life coping from one day to the next as best they can.

With confusion still reining, I decided to look to the internet for some inspiration, and did a Google for "how to have more passion for life". It found several responses, from sites that seemed to be a front for scientology to blogs and counsellors.

There were probably three that piqued my attention more than the rest in the first 5 or so pages of Google search outcomes:

• http://www.passionateheartultimatecollection.com/ was from a couple who offer a relationship counselling toolkit - the outcomes they spruik look inviting, and a follow-up Google of their name found pages of things that they have published, including a resource for helping couples to decide if they should stay together. Part of the purpose for Goggling them was also to see if there were any negative comments about their stuff - there were none in the first few pages, but these were predominantly filled with stuff they'd published - leading me to wonder if they were caring about the story they were selling, or just about selling their story.
• http://www.auslifecoaching.com/relationships/living_with_passion.html was a page written by a counsellor in Perth who noted that "Passion is energy, excitement, emotion and ultimately love." She went on to note that a life without excitement would be pretty dull, and a dull life feels like emptiness, a struggle and futility, and that people in this boat have lost the spark in their eye. She also says not to mistake passion for obsession, noting that "I know people who cannot do anything without overdoing - taking up a sport turns into a daily ritual that must be observed; a new friend must be contacted every other minute; a hobby must be accompanied by all the paraphernalia that comes with it." This is something that I can certainly associate with.
• http://www.alistercameron.com/2007/04/28/if-you-dont-have-passion-and-purpose-greater-productivity-wont-help-you/ is a blog by someone who seemed to be starting more from a financial / business perspective looking at success and goal setting and then showing that it isn't goal setting that is the driver for success, but rather is having a passion for what you do (though another article also pointed out that you need both passion and determination - http://betterlife-seeker.com/motivation/the-hidden-essence-of-passion-and-determination/ ). Near the start of the article, the author noted that, "Until you discover your "fire within" you will remain condemned to a life only endured, not lived; to delicacies only tasted, not devoured; to joys only imagined, not experienced. And in old age you will lament the days of your youth, when fears about money and security kept you from taking the leaps of faith and courage in the direction of your dreams." The author went on to talk about how left brain activities (like list making) do not inspire the identification of passion - rather that it has to come through other means. With his Christian focus, he had his solution that "giving Sabbath, Solitude and Simplicity will lead to Clarity, Courage and Conviction" and I could certainly identify with much of what he was saying.

So what does all this mean to me. Passion seems to be about finding the excitement and enjoyment in life - finding what drives you. For me, I feel like I have not lived with any passion in my life for almost as long as I can remember ... indeed, maybe longer! I feel like my life has been a progression of what seems logical to do next rather than what I feel compelled to do. The compulsions I have felt often seem to be fuelled out of a sense of doing what is right rather than feeling an undercurrent of excitement or enthusiasm. Indeed, I struggle to think of a single thing that I feel like I have done out of some strong passionate desire.

I can identify many things that I have done that have become habit or ritual - like dancing, SCUBA, my hobbies, and maybe even my holidays. That is not to say that they have never or don't ever give me any enjoyment, but just that I've often felt like I have been watching myself do something without any real emotion on or about the experience.

I made a comment in my last individual counselling session that maybe I am a bit of a sap - living off the enjoyment that I see in others rather than finding my own enjoyment - this seems to be another aspect of passion - that other people's passion can be felt by those around them - that I have none of my own may be why I find these experiences enjoyable.

It is also interesting to tie this conversation back to the theme of this blog - the hallmark of a sustainable life is that it is one lived without passion - that it is something that is almost endured, rather than enjoyed.

I don't know how to find my passion, but maybe the advice in third site above is a good start - take a rest from the worries and concerns that may preoccupy me, turn off from the noise and be with myself, and cull some of the clutter out of my life.

There is probably a heap more to say, but this is more than enough for now.